Jerry Garcia is my best friend.
Friday, May 31, 2002
Eheh. No, I'm not insane, I just had a really weird dream last night. I dreamt that the
after grad party tomorrow night was really in my room, (my room was pretty big!) and Jerry
Garcia showed up, and we were best friends. He was sitting in this chair and I went over
to him and sat on his lap and like... put my arms around his neck and laid my head on his
chest and I remember saying "Jerry... don't ever leave me, okay?" and he said
"Okay." and I said "Ever? You won't ever leave me?" and he said
"No. I'll always stay with you." and then I breathed in his scent, and he
smelled like the good kind of pot and my incense... really really good. But then the party
was over and all of the sudden we were at my school, and my oldest sister came to pick me
up for some reason, and no one would believe me that Brian Whorly (that became Jerry's new
name for some reason, and I no know anybody with that name.) was my best friend, and that
I was so sad to leave him.
So then I laid in bed for like.. an hour and tried to figure out who Jerry was supposed to
be, but none of my really close guy friends were ever potheads ^_^;; I'm such a huge dork.
I feel bad because I told Bill to be online last night at 10:30pm my time so we could play
Scrabble because we haven't seen each other for like.. a week and I really miss him, but
Tom and I got into a big fight and ended up staying on the phone until 1 am. When I got
online, Bill wasn't there and now I feel like a horrible person.
But Tom and I made up. Yay. I see him in one weeeeeeeeeek! I'm terrified.
I've been neglecting my opendiary lately...
blah. Okay, more than lately. I just... I can't write for some reason. Maybe I just need
new inspiration or something. I need to clear my head and do new things... Grr. I've not
been happy with some of my latest stuff. Tonikaku.
I beat Lunar yesterday (finally!) so I'm going to start Shenmue today, even though I heard
it's so horribly dubbed. Sensei would NOT approve. But Tom has Shenmue II and that has
subtitles so I can hear it in all of its Japanese glory.
The other day I watched this really awesome Japanese movie called "Kikujiro"
- which was surprisingly on HBO, and it WASN'T dubbed! It was such a great movie, about
this kid who goes off searching for his mother, and this wannabe gangster named Kikujiro
goes with him. It's really hysterical, and so absolutely Japanese in that the scenes are
just so random, and they even play the blindfolded watermelon bashing game like in
Marmalade Boy! Ahaha. I was really excited because half the time when the subtitles showed
up on the screen before the dialogue was finished, I knew what they were going to say in
Japanese before I heard it. It made me realize how much Japanese I've learned, and it made
me feel all confident for whenever I start studying it for real in college. I'm sooo
excited.
I've been dreaming of Kyoto for like.. EVER now, and I can't wait until I finally get to
go there, and see Gion and Pontocho and all the other geisha quarters, and I wanna sit Zen
for a summer like Liza Dalby did and make Japanese friends and just totally immerse myself
in the culture and language.
This summer I'm going to make reading Tale of Genji my big project. Since I already read
Tale of Murasaki, hopefully I can get a lot out of it, and I mean, come on- that's classic
Japanese literature. There's a whole CLASS on Tale of Genji at my college.
Mmmmm, Japan. I can't waaaaaaait.
click went the gun at 11.39 a.m.
a belated Friday Five
Saturday, May 25, 2002
1. What's the last vivid dream that you remember having?
Last night I had a dream (the second one this month) that I was smoking a joint, and I
could feel how high I was in the dream.. it was pretty cool >_>;; The last dream I
had I couldn't feel anything, but I was actually high in the one I had last night...
really mellow and everything. The funny thing about the dream was, was that I was smoking
a joint in MY ROOM. I walked out into the living room like it was nothing, and my mom
looked and me, grabbed by my arm and shoved me into the bathroom and closed to door so my
dad didn't hear and she's like "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! I CAN SMELL THE POT
ON YOU!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS EVEN AFTER ALL YOUR BROTHER HAS TOLD YOU?!" My brother
is a cop, but he's actually never said anything to me about pot, so that was weird. So
then she's all like "You're grounded for the whole summer, except for the last two
days!! That is IT!" and I go "Oh no you aren't! You can't do that! You're not
grounding me!" and she paused for a long time and then she shrugs and goes
"Okay." and leaves the room. Then I woke up. ^_^;;
2. Do you have any recurring dreams?
I have a lot of recurring dreams, most of which from my childhood. Too many to list,
really. Most of the time though, I'll realize during a dream that I've dreamt it before.
3. What's the scariest nightmare you've ever had?
The scariest dream I've ever had, undoubtedly, is one I had a few weeks ago. I was in
Tom's condo, and for some reason my dog was there. Tom had left and I was scared about
being in there by myself. I was in a bedroom, laying on the floor watching TV. I looked at
the full length mirror and saw this huge, beautiful tattoo covering my back of this really
big rose. All of the sudden I heard a noise, so I went into the living room to check on
the dog, and I turned towards the door, and saw it vibrating like someone was trying to
break in, and I started panicking, and the I could hear someone pushing against the door,
and the locks broke and this woman with these psychotic eyes came running in and screaming
at me, and I tried to run away but I couldn't, and she started stabbing me over and over
again and I could feel it in my dream. It was so fucking scary, I woke up screaming.
4. Have you ever written your dreams down or considered it? Why or why not?
If my dream is vivid, or I can tell that it has meaning, I write it down with every detail
I can remember. I think that dreams are extremely important and very meaningful. I've had
a lot of dreams that have predicted something before, I call them my "prophetic
dreams" and I can usually tell when a dream I have is one, so I usually write them
down so I can refer back to them to see how much of it was right.
5. Have you ever had a lucid dream? What did you do in it?
Yes. I had the best sex I've ever had.
click went the gun at 4.49 p.m.
How YOU doin?
Friday, May 24, 2002
Well, today Kelly and I went job hunting around town because we are both poor and we need
money. It was all gloomy and rainy but it was really fun. We went to PetCo, and there was
a pretty hot guy that worked there, and you have to be 18 to work there so Kelly isn't
going to apply there, but I think I still want to. They have animals there! Little ones,
though. Like hamsters and guinea pigs and uhm... icky animals like rats and ferrets.
Kowai.
After that, we went to the mall and went to Border's. We asked if they were hiring, and
the guy paused and goes "Well.... we're accepting applications..." and handed us
some, and I whispered to Kelly as we were walking out "That means no, they aren't
hiring, they'll just keep the application on file and call you after you don't want a job
anymore." So then we got distracted by shoes, posters, and incense and then
remembered that we were supposed to be job hunting, because we NEED money, we don't need
to SPEND it. Ehehe.
After that we went to Sam Goody and there was this timid guy there that was really nice to
us and gave us applications. On the way out of there, we were walking towards a department
store when I saw these two incredibly hot Asian guys and I was like... RUNNING to check
them out, it was so funny. Kelly was like "What are you DOING?!" and I just kept
going "Hot! Hot! Asian boys! Look!" and gesturing emphatically, it was really
funny. Then this group of guys that looked like they were in junior high started yelling
things at as and checking us out. Eeewww.
One good thing about the mall trip though: Cell phone kiosk guys. Oh my god, Kelly and I
were walking by this one kiosk and like.... five of the hottest guys I've seen in my life
were all in one of them and they started talking to us. It was way overwhelming, but
that's when I saw those Asian boys and started running. >_>;; I really have a
problem. An addiction, or something. I'm getting pathetic. >_>;
So after that we went to Pier 1 but they weren't hiring ;_;
we went back to Kelly's house and made plans for Barn Fest tomorrow night, which is
actually on my street, but I guess they made it out in the Boonies because all these
horrible high school bands will be playing, and there will be liquor and pot and cops
NEVER come out here. but I have to be the sober sister, unfortunately, and drive kelly all
the way home, so i will not get to drink. Blah. She owes me, yo.
After that I went to Subway and went back to my house and watched Marmalade Boy. I am so
down with summer right now, mmmm. Tonight I have a Scrabble date with Ed and Dilly, I'm
sure that will be fun because Ed is always really serious when he plays and lately no game
Dilly and I play can be lacking "WOOD" or "VULVA." ^_^;;
I played like.. two games with Bill last night and it was really fun. We laughed a lot,
and I realized how much I missed hanging out with him even more. I can't have all caps fun
with anyone else like I can have with Dilly. wheeeeeeeeeeee.
14 days until I see Tom.
click went the gun at 5.06 p.m.
o/~ Another day has changed my life... o/~
Wednesday, May 22, 2002
Today was my last day of high school.
I really can't describe how I am feeling right now. I didn't cry or anything today, but
standing by the door a few minutes before the bell rang of my last class of high school
ever, i had all of this adrenaline flood my system and I started shaking really hard. The
clock said we had three minutes left but I was in mid-conversation when the bell rang, and
we all just ran. All the seniors were screaming, we were all running and laughing and
yelling "FINALLY!" all out to our cars.
I didn't have to sit in the parking lot very long, but when I finally did drive out, the
whole time I was trembling so hard I thought i would wreck my car or something. i turned
on to highway d, and looked at the football field, and the stadium, "home of the
vikings." I remember when i was in junior high, i'd always look there and think
"wow, i'm going to be in high school, at that huge school with that football field,
the home of the vikings." and now i've been there for four whole years, i've done my
time. i just looked at it and sighed, and felt really... content.
The first song I played on my way home was "Distance" by Hikki, and i just
thought of how my life is just starting now.. i always felt like my life was on hold
because of high school, and now i can go off and do all of these great things, at college
in Iowa. in a few months i'll be moving to another state, in a few months i'll be together
with tom, finally- and working on my dream, studying japanese.
the last song i played on the way home from my last day of school was
"Kettobase" by Hikki... and I almost started crying, just thinking about
everything that has happened in high school. Spectra. Penny. Brent. Ryan. I lived
and I died there. and now I want to be reborn, and start all over in Iowa, like I've
wanted to do for so long. "Another day has changed my life."
It's all happening.
Now please, all of you make a sacrifice to the Scantron Gods and pray that I passed
Pre-Calc. I didn't need it to graduate, but I don't think my college would think that an F
is a very good grade. I doubt they care all THAT much though, for a one semester class
with an F. Senioritis and all that. I'm sure they understand. *prays*
So now, I have to wait until June 1st so I can say that I am officially a high school
graduate.
it's true. It is all happening.
click went the gun at 11.56 a.m.
Friday Five
Friday, May 17, 2002
I'll post a regular update later, but until then, here's my friday five.
1. What shampoo do you use?
Actually I have a rotation. Between Herbal Essences, Pantene, Thermasilk, and this really
hard to find shampoo, Willow Lake (the purple kind). So if anyone sees Willow Lake near
them, get me some because I can't find any anymore >_>;;
2. Do you use conditioner? What kind?
I have to use conditioner or I won't even be able to get a brush through my hair,
and it will break and be brittle and frizzy and just a really bad time. So see above
rotation- I use their matching conditioners.
3. When was the last time you got your hair cut?
Last night, actually, and I'm pissed because the lady took "a trim" to mean
three inches. It's so short now, blech.
4. What styling products do you use?
when I actually have time, I will straighten my hair with a straightening iron and use
Willow Lake hairspray with Raspberry Leaves and vitamin E, but other than that I pretty
much blowdry and go unless it's a special occasion.
5. What's your worst hair-related experience?
In seventh grade, my best friend (At the time) Becki and I got this great idea and
decided to dye our hair blue and purple, so we went to this skate shop and bought this
blue and purple GOOP made by Sweet Georgia Brown, and we just loaded it onto our hair.
Well, it made our hair become goop as well, and the goop never DRIED. It just made our
hair uber greasy and like... stuck together. It took us two weeks of washing our hair
about ten times a day and dumping Gold Bond powder and baby powder on it until the shit
even came out. It was pretty bad, especially since we had to go to school with our hair
like that. Becki's mom mailed the company and told them what happened, and they sent both
of us this huge makeup bag filled with like... black lipstick and green mascara. Ahhh,
junior high traumas.... *reminisces*
click went the gun at 12.26 p.m.
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